FINDING FOCUS

wldflwr workshop-175I tend to be the most productive with my personal work when I have a large assignment due in the next 24 hours... hence why I did a complete revamp of my portfolio! This is a funny time in my work life. I feel like I have a different explanation of my passions / preferred jobs every time somebody asks me, and then half the time I'm frustrated because I don't like job descriptions defining my entire life. (Does it make anyone else uncomfortable when the first question you're asked when you meet someone is "what do you do? / where do you work?") Maybe I just get uncomfortable because I'm in a figuring it out stage, and that doesn't necessarily breed easy answers, buuuut at least I'm figuring out, so we're all good (when are we not in this stage?). I've struggled with what I want people to see in my portfolio for a while because a lot of times I feel like I'm trying to tackle too much - photography, writing, curating, floral design, aaaahhh - but this past week I had an awesome life-defining moment. What do I want to do when I graduate in three months? I want to create and I want to tell stories. What do I want to do with my blog / personal business? I want to create and tell stories. I could go on, but I don't want to take the repetition too far. Over the summer I had someone I look up to ask me what my style is and I was dumbfounded. I actually said the words, "I think I have a pretty young style..." what does that even MEAN? I have an entire site dedicated to exploring style and I can't even put words to my own? No, actually I can't... still. I mean I can kind of give vague answers, but then I start saying things like, "I like pales but if I'm in this mood I only wear black, so..." Style, like life and discovering work and passions is so complicated and that's why I want to dedicate this space to my explorations. This journey in struggling through moments and changes in the ordinary and extraordinary. A place to form a community around discovery and what that action actually looks like.

So here's to finding words for my thought-tornadoes and I hope everyone has a lovely love week.

photo by Mikaela Hamilton

-Β cargocollective.com/leahgray